Much Better Now

I am feeling much better now. Sorry for the downer posts. It's just hard with Michael being away and knowing that he will be gone for so long doesn't make it any easier. But I did find a gym about 25 minutes away that has child care. Bingo!

I use to work out and I have forgotten over the course of getting married and having kids how much I truly enjoy working out. I've also forgotten how much better it makes me feel to work out. Tuesday I joined. Wednesday I tried the Centergy class, which is a yoga/pilates class. Then on Thursday I tried the Active class, which is a step/ weight class. Both were fun and I think I will make it every week to those. I already have my work out schedule figured out. I am so looking forward to every week now. Here are my before pictures. In a few weeks I will post an after picture.



















John woke up Friday morning with a fever and vomiting. So needless to say he did not go to school that morning. But he is feeling much better now. Cute thing was: he was talking to Joseph telling him about his morning. It went a little like this: Bubba, Bubba. Listen Bubba. I threw up this morning. I threw up on the sofa. I threw up on the floor. I threw up on the stairs. I so sick. Bubba, I threw up this morning. One, him having an entire conversation like that and continuing; awesome. He is delaying in speech so that was just great. Then the topic of conversation... to dang funny.

Joseph and Belle don't seem to mind going to the gym with me. The play room that the child care is kept in isn't the greatest, but it's good enough. The girl that sits with the kids, seems nice enough. Experience, not so sure of, but she at least changed their diapers the last time they were in the room with her. And they are alive when I pick them up. I think I am going to work something out with my mom so that 2-3 days a week they can stay with her and the other days, they can go to the gym child care.

I actually talked to Michael for an hour last night. He listened and talked in return. You have no idea how nice that was. Michael just doesn't talk really so for him to have some input it awesome!

Belle and Joseph did not take a nap on Thursday. Ugh! I put them in their room, in their beds like I normally do. 40 minutes later they still weren't asleep. I could hear them jumping in their beds and talking and laughing. Not a big deal, but they need their sleep. I'll explain why later. Anyways, I decide to go in there and tell them to lay down, yada yada. Well, when I walked in I got there just in time to see Joseph standing in the middle of the room, no pants, no diaper, hand on penis half way through peeing on the floor. I take a look at Belle and she is naked from the waist down as well. So, I clean up, replace diapers and pants, put them back in bed, tell them to go to sleep and walk out. After a total of 1 hour 10 minutes of being in their room, they are still going full speed. So I figure they are just not going to nap that day. Well, that night (and I knew this was going to happen) they did not sleep well at all. I had to get up with them at least five times that night. I wasn't surprised. Then of course that next morning was the morning that John woke up sick. Ha ha, what a great start to Friday.

However; Friday did not end up being so bad. The twins slept well for their nap. Better than they had in weeks. My mom was keeping them so I could go to the gym. Aiden was feeling well enough too. I learned which machines to use and how to use them (reps and sets and such). Was weighed and measured by my personal trainer. Sounds way more high class than it is. Anyways, I was surprised to hear that my body fat percentage was only 20.8 and that put me in the Very Good column. To be in the excellent column I would only have to lose about 2 percent. What a self esteem booster. Not to mention Tressie, my trainer, continued to give me compliments the whole time. It was such a good decision to join this gym. It is going to make my wait for Michael to get home so much easier.

I'm hoping to get to the gym today. The child care is from 8:30 to 11:00. If I have to take the twins, then I will, but hopefully Mom is going to continue to be that great mom that she is and keep them for me. Here's to a great weekend!

Not a bad day today.

Today wasn't too bad. After yesterday's break down, anything would have been better; but today was actually pretty nice. I helped my dad take the chimney down out of the attic. Amazing that doing that was the highlight of my day. Pretty pathetic actually. But I enjoyed myself. I like physical exertion.

Took the twins outside this morning. Before I helped my dad. They had fun. Dug in the wet grass and such. When we came inside, I gave them lunch and then a bath. While they were in the bath, I worked on the kitchen a bit. Well, needless to say they got into something. Ha, the little turds grabbed my shampoo and made a very bubbly bubble bath. But it all worked out, I didn't need to use any soap or shampoo to get them clean. Just used the very soapy water to bathe them.

After school today, I picked up John and brought him to Dairy Queen, for a special "Mommy and Me" treat. He and I both enjoyed ourselves. It was nice.

Got home from our special treat and had to bring Belle to the doctor for her eczema . I just can't get a handle on it. Dr. prescribed Elidel for it. I hope it helps. The eczema doesn't seem to bother her, but I sure hate looking at it. It just looks uncomfortable. Keeping my fingers crossed.

This afternoon two guys show up at the front door selling shrimp. Oh, shrimp. The love of my life. Yummy! I had to buy some. So, they de-head them and bag them for the price per pound you pay. Not a bad deal. But what made it even better... I got to de-head them myself as well. Sounds crazy I know, but I haven't done anything "southern" like that in so long; I truly enjoyed myself. And on top of that, to make my day, the younger guy (who was 22) flirted with me so much. It felt good getting hit on by someone 6 almost 7 years younger. And let me tell you, he was not holding back, even after he found out I had a "big" husband. Michael isn't a small guy. I'm guessing my dad told him I was married. Haha, made me laugh.

Speaking of Michael... That big turd of mine has been gone a whole week and we have not had one real conversation yet. I know he isn't a big talker, but come on! Make an effort man! One of the problems, is that when I have a free moment to chat without the kids interrupting, he doesn't. Another problem is that the entire time we are on the phone, he is joking off with the guys he is sharing a room with. Please, could ya just please give me your entire attention for a few minutes?

Anyways, that was my very exciting day. I guess the best part, was that John actually behaved himself today. Well as much as a 3.5 year old behaves anyway. He did good. I was very proud of him. Hopefully the rest of my week will be this nice. Although, how many chimneys are in my attic that need taking down and how much shrimp can I buy and de-head in a weeks time?

Grumpy Me

So yeah life sucks. We all know this. The thing is there is always ups to balance the downs. The hard part is getting through the downs remembering there will be another up. All ways feels like the only way to go is down. I try talking to my mom, but she is always so negative anyways. There was a point where everything out of her mouth was negative. So here I am in a downer and she just adds to it. And I can tell she is getting frustrated listening to me. Well all I can say is, "Go home!"

I know that since Hurricane Katrina things have been hard. Hell, I'm living it too. Look at me. I use to be a fairly successful up and coming someone. Now, all I am is a cook, maid, babysitter and LOSER. I have 3 great kids, but they drive me up a stinking wall. I do love them, but it is so hard. And to top it off, I have no friends. Currently have no husband as he is 17 hours away trying to make money for us to catch up a bit. And here I am stuck in this God forsaken house with 3 little imps.

I can't vent to anyone. There is no one to vent to. I have no friends to go spend the day with. And even if I did, its not like I could go. Try bringing 3 kids that don't listen to a damn thing you say anywhere. It's impossible. I am just so done.

Micheal being gone is really showing me how much I depend on him to keep my sanity. But he doesn't see it, because he has a gym membership there now and can go to the gym after work everyday that he is there. Nothing keeping him glued to the house. Oh and did I mention he gets to hang out with guys that he works with too. Yeah, sort of like being a single bachelor. I'm not bitter though, not at all.

What is wrong with me that I don't want to be here with my kids. I would love to go away for a month. I wouldn't miss anything here one second. There is seriously something wrong with me. But it's only for about 4-6 more weeks then he'll be home. And I will be my happy self again. Hopefully...

It's been awhile, but nothing's changed

It's been a while since I have posted anything, but not much has changed. The gate in the kitchen has been doubled and covered. That's right, there is another gate exactly like the one before, on top of the original and we have covered the entire thing with a curtain. That was because the two boys could climb over both gates and still get into the kitchen. So we covered it with a curtain to prevent them from getting a foot hold on the gates. That did the trick. Now they just push and pull the thing until it pops open. Relentless those boys are.

John is now in Head Start. I get a little break during the day now with him being in school. He does great. He really likes it and the twins get some alone time with mommy now. He is still a little terror though. I can not get a handle on his throwing, hitting, kicking and pushing. He doesn't do any of this at school, mind you. Just at home. Last night, I had enough. I told him if he threw that toy, I was going to throw it out the front door into the road. He threw it. I picked it up and tossed it out the house into the road. Oh boy! He didn't like that. It made him angry so, he threw another toy. That toy, too, went into the road. I told him that the cars were going to run them over and that he wasn't getting them back. So after a few toys, he got "smart" and threw his pj shirt. Hmmmph, I got one of his toys out of his room and threw that out the door. OOOhhh, did that make him angry.

Nearly 15 toys later, that means me getting kicked and hit and toys being thrown 15 times, he decided he would quit. But what was so funny, was he kept looking through the door at the street (the door is basically all glass) every time a car would pass. He'd freak out then when the toys would be untouched by car tires, he'd giggle up a storm. So relieved that they didn't' get run over. He'd laugh so hard, he had me laughing. But maybe I got through to him. Oh, and I would tell him to say good bye to the toy as I passed him going to the door and he would say bye bye in the most pitiful teary voice he had. Too cute.

Belle is talking up a storm now. She loves Dora the Explorer so she knows a bit of Spanish now. She'll tell me gracias when I hand her things. And is constantly telling me, "Bubba did it!", "Bubba hit me!" and "John did it!" and "John hit me." She's even been known to tell her Maw Maw that "Mama hit me!" When all I did was tell her not to get up there. She's funny as hell.

Joseph is following in his big brother's footsteps. Doing all the "bad" things John does. But he has the cutest face. It is probably his saving grace. I think I would have put him in the trash can by now if he wasn't so cute.

Michael is working in Illinois again this year. He went last year for a month and so when the opportunity arose again this year he took it. He has been gone less than one week and I am ready to run away. I think it may be a bit harder this year than it was last year. I really thought it would be easier. It's possible that the job this year will be a longer one too. I don't know what kind of home he is going to come home to, but if the three little ones keep up at this pace, he may only have a wife left. Or three kids and a mummy. Who knows?

I'm really needing some vent time lately so I will probably, hopefully, post more in the coming weeks. I should really try to keep up with it. It is definitely a good outlet. And no one needs an outlet more than me, that's for sure.